My Thoughts !!!

Hobbies, I guess they change time by time. They change as per the stages of our life. I mean you might love playing cricket when in school but when you are in college you may count riding bikes in your hobbies list or listening music (which is the most common hobby I have found among everyone) may become your daily routine which can reach on the top of the ladder of your hobbies. So the same way I have also added a new hobby into my hobbies list. Writing thoughts. Ok don't need to make faces for it. I know it may be boring for some or crazy for some. I can understand I can recall someone who has the hobby of teaching and solving maths puzzle. I know how I grasp this. I mean maths and a hobby? IMPOSSIBLE for me. Anyway so thoughts or rather quotes yes I have written some so publishing them.

1.) We never understand that in making our tomorrow perfect we are losing our present and any building with weak foundation can not be perfect at the end- by Jagdish
2.) Its not every time the words you say matters. It the tone which has the most hold of the conversation- by Jagdish
3.) God blessed humans with words and thoughts which connect us to others but we still prefer to keep silent- by Jagdish
4.) People say first impression is last impression but 99% the judgement made at first sight is incorrect- by Jagdish ( I have experienced this)
5.) Experiences are bitter but bitter experiences make life sweet- by Jagdish
6.) We all try to reach the sky ignoring the fact that without ground under our feet we will always fall down- by Jagdish
7.) Tounge- the softest weapon of humans which hurts the most- by Jagdish
8.) Lesson of life- You learn when you lose, You crib when you gain- by Jagdish
9.) In the battle of emotions all of us prefer to win without considering the fact that its better to lose it- by Jagdish
10.) We don't care when we hurt others though we expect them to care when we are hurt- by Jagdish
11.) Playing with emotions is the only game where you lose and win together- by Jagdish
12.) Losing the game with the spirit of winning hurts- by Jagdish (I like this-my favourite)
13.) We all like smile but most of the time tears are more faithful- by Jagdish

Lost The Game

I lost the game without being the part of it,
Though they presumed I was playing.
I didn't choose my life to be this way,
The cost of their hopes I am paying.
My thoughts have faded while fufiling their dream,
I was fighting alone,
They thought I am in with the team.
The light of sun was changing to dark,
The time was crushing me inside hard,
They still wish me to be obeying.
I lost the game though I was not playing.

CTK Days..!!!

"The words are falling short,
Time is running fast. I am afraid if
I will be able to hold it hard"
No no.. I haven't started writing poems, I am not a poet. Of course I can not be. I mean not my cup of tea. But these line? I don't know from where but they came into my mind and I wrote them. Ok leaving it here and starting from where I left. Yes induction was over, we were engaged to the program called bench which was a way to keep the new joined employees busy so that they couldn’t start the job search engine again(I Guess, because we just passed the time in the bench program). After which the CTK training supposed to start so 8th Oct was the first day for the CTK training na na na…let me correct it I should say night because it was the night shift. It sucks man, its like a water bubble it looks good initially but can’t carry the goody feeling for long (Sorry I am not very good with jargon). Again the introduction round continued and all the eighteen or nineteen people gave the introduction. Trainer name was Hemad a fair, bit fatty guy not so good with height but yes ok looking with a totally different accent. There are no training room or rather than calling it a training room they prefer to call it a LAB. As soon as I heard of Lab the image of half operated frog or black cobra started floating in front of my eyes. Ok the training started and I felt as if whatever I learnt in my life was of no use or incorrect even calling a glass of water was incorrect if I say this in my accent. A/C was freezing I mean after spending ½ hr in the lab you would not deny with the fact that you are in Shimla not in Delhi. Though the trainer tried to keep the lab hot by his humorous jokes but ofcourse he couldn’t because he was a man ;O) . And ofcourse girls has the masters into it not the boys I mean I am not a trans gender so I felt that way but no offenses for trans genders if there were any. And again my bad luck no good looking faces around so night supposed to be boring. We spent some 14 days into this training and came a bit closed to each other in the batch I mean now you can go ahead and slap on someone’s head without feeling bad. Group… Yes we had group members Raghav, Anubhav, Piyush Kumar, Jehan zeab bhat, Alex John, Amit Kumar Singh, Guntej I really can not write everyone’s name here but I think I have mentioned everyone who is different here. Don’t think they are good they can’t be ever. They are the worst guys I have ever seen. They are irritating, pathetic, no etiquette but yes they are FRIENDS. Not my good friends but good to each other. That’s it. That’s matter. If one would say he will fail in assessment that means it goes for everyone. Everyone will fail but together. They have to, they will leave things behind but they won’t leave anyone. They don’t care what people are thinking about them, they will shout, they will fight whatever they wish to do they do. And people like me just laugh on them or comment that they are stupids/idiots etc. But what if I look at me? Do I have a group? What is that which kept me away from a group? What are the MISTAKES I did?

Friends- We Were..!!!

"Please don't talk to me whenever I am studying. Sir complained to my mom that I keep chatting all the time." I looked around to search the source of this statement. A 12 year old guy in school dress with at least a 5 kg bag hanging on his back was telling this to his friend. The statement was a bit loud as the other people in metro also gazed towards the guy. Both of them in the school dress, probably from the same school & class as second guy was of the same age I guess. I looked at the first guy face, innocent I thought. Half shirt tucked in and half hanging out with some ink spot on trouser & shirt clearly state that they are coming back from school. Little hair on upper lips clearly stating he will step into the stage of stress in next couple of years. Of course after attending 8 periods in school you barely look energetic. The eyes were reflecting the maths formulas with physics theorems, waiting for two hours of his day to spend with friends on playground or to watch cartoon network. Suddenly I thought at which stage the life is perfect? Which one is the state when we are actually satisfied with whatever we have? Since the age of 5 till the end we just run behind things. First at school you have to run hard to get maximum numbers, then college to ensure you give it a best shot to gear up your career. Finally jobs…. They really suck. Imagine your boss holding the juice bottle or eating an apple and ensuring you are not having your lunch as if he is getting paid for that only. When we were at school we thought college would be fun? Of course not everyone is lucky to pursue with regular college to have fun because the competition is tough and on top of it some of us may need to provide support to their family on financial front. Then it’s amazing… But still we look forward to college to define our field. Where to find happiness? How many of us can actually look back and say great journey till now with no regret? We leave our school friend as soon as we leave the school. After a couple of year even if you see someone from your school or class you prefer to hide your face with the paper bag you are carrying or with the newspaper or you wait him to see you and break the silence. And if the guy was a top performer then of course you prefer to walk away ASAP. Same thing happen at college, initially you might be the best buddy but after passing out college we wait our best buddy to call us for the sake of continuity. If he/she is not doing then why should I do? Ohhh he/she has become egoistic. He/she didn’t call me why should I? Why? Why? Why? No answer we look forward for our future, our job, our salary. We are ok with new office friends who always look forward to kick on our butt. One single mistake which can make them hero and us zero. We smile but only to please the lady sitting at reception OR to delight boss. Doesn’t matter how ugly your boss looking you have to say “boss you are looking amazing”. Remember when you used to insult your friend in school for just an ink drop on his shirt or trouser? You were always ready to break his head if he says something wrong to you. But here for the sake of money, life, family you allow everything as if it is the only way to get heaven afterward. We don’t ever take in that there is no word which is YOUR MISTAKE. Its always Y… OUR.. MISTAKE.. Why we did it? We put the blame on the other person that he/she forgot to call me. We don’t think for sec even that he/she might be suffering from the worst when we were blaming him/her. Why not to say I still miss you my friend. I still miss your aloo ka parantha with spicy pickle? Why to wait for him/her to call back? He/She may be waiting the same way holding your photo near by his/her heart pleading you to come back. Come Back.. Let’s have one more cricket match with my bat your ball, my Johnny and your Sweaty doll. Let’s have FUN again on the playground, let’s fight for one rupee coin? Come Back Please…..

26/09/2009

Waking up early in the morning is really a tough task... Isn't it? It sucks when you wake up before the sun. The same thing happened yesterday with me. I woke up at 5:30 AM. I don’t know about others but for me its toooo early. I had to go for training & induction. Ahhh.. didn’t I tell you? Just joined 2 days back and yesterday was the first day. The interview went well and I was one of the selected candidates. Training centre is quite far away from my place so had to leave home pre 2 hours. My dad says. Y to take chances? So searched for my clothes went through the daily routine sprayed deo. While I was doing this my mom covered her nose with handkerchief SHE HATE MY DEOS but I love them. My brother woke up as if someone raised a fire alarm due to the fragrance of deo. Anyway rushed to metro station as it is more convenient then buses and you really don’t have to argue on the fair as you have to do with autowallas. I believe metro is more reasonable as well. Its been three years I guess metro introduced to Delhi city. A boon to delhiwallas, it look beautiful in the night as if an aircraft crossing over your head. But do we really respect what we have? Do we really care about it or we believe in taking out the benefit of our own? I saw some scratches on the lift while it was closing. May be someone genius lost pen and paper and tried to write something very important(for him/her) on it. I asked a question to myself as there was no one around to ask. Is this the reason countries like USA, Australia ahead than us? Dosen’t the strength of the country lies in us? What made India a country? Its people… Isn’t it? The questionnaire could have gone further thanks for the metro for coming on time. I boarded in as it was 7:15 am I thought not many people will be in the metro but to my surprise there were. Anyway reached CP. Though its most happening area but here very few shops were opened at that time, I looked at the traffic signal the moment I stepped out from escalator they were working fine for a change. Normally they don’t after 11 PM to 8 AM. Rushed to my bus stand as I had to board into bus to reach their (told you its far away). A few roadside shopkeeper were available, sweeper was doing his job. Anyway after waiting for 15 mins. Bus came. Not heavily crowded but yes leaving no seats free. Conductor came to me and asked for ticket in his jaat accent. I thought I should suggest him to be polite but his muscles stopped me to do so…. Good physique I thought and searched for change and handed over a ten rupees note to him. Few girls were looking at me from the corner of their eyes as if any alien is around them and about to perform a weird task. I looked at my clothes and asked am I looking good or bad? I think I was not at all looking bad and the deodorant was still making people look at me so no chance. After few stops I got the seats and the girls who were gazing at me were also gone so I relaxed. It took another one hour to reach training centre. The employer had arranged a hotel for the same with lunch and breakfast. I reached and saw a couple of known faces as they were available at the time of interview. Shake hand ritual got over and I took my seat. After a couple of minute someone well dressed entered carrying a laptop in his hand wearing a co. logo t-shirt. He adjusted the projector and started with a good morning. Till then the room was packed with candidates. For my bad luck no good looking faces were around me. One sardarji sitting next to me was the only one with whom I could chat. The inductor started with the presentation. He was telling us the great achievement of the company so far and some brilliant people around us were giving answers to his questions. I wondered how they know about all this. Were they so involved in the market or I was too busy to see this? Somehow the one & half hour presentation got over and the trainer from Mumbai entered into the picture. A tall, fatty and dark guy with a black color blazer on his body with golden ring on his right ear. Is it really gold? I asked myself? I thought he tried to wear matching dress with his body color as he walked towards the table. All the good morning/introduction/name game got over and we were back to the topic. For another one hour he tried to put humor into the training with some silly and good jokes. It was really getting bored as the presentation was taking so long. He made me spoc for boys to get them back on time from breaks and one other girl Aditi the spoc for girls(same job). I somehow feel girls still have advantage of being girls. I mean more attention would be paid to them may be because a man is taking the presentation or they understand things gradually. Anyone of these can be the reason. Bias is always there, anywhere have you seen impartiality??? (Question to boys) I was actually lost from training the moment this topic approached my mind. I was really thinking about the advertisement from government about men & women equality. Though this is to endorse of course women side but they should start encouraging men. They need it more than women. Don’t you think so?

Voice Of Heart..!!!

It took me more then a week to recognize this. What it should be called? How to name it? Its not breathing but yes it speak as an ordinary individual creature OR more perfect would be THEY speak as an ordinary human being. Its as practical as I am, as chatty as a girl (Sorry!! no other example actually suit here) and as real as anyone of us. Its quite unbelievable and classy people call it stupidity. Of course when you say that a voice from your heart speak to you OR you are always in a scuffle of arguments with your heart everyone would call you crazy.
Have you ever realize that you are not unaccompanied ever even not in the bathroom ;O) and you can not be unaccompanied ever. There will always be two voices with you, one will be directing you to the accurate way and second which is more influential, distracting you from the correct path, taking you on to the top of the dreams. Its always very hard and stressful to listen to the accurate one. The right one will be correct but puzzled very afraid and low confidence though the incorrect one would always touch the assurance sky. Now the question is how to judge which one is correct. You really can’t judge on the basis of approach as the incorrect one would be more approachable or I should say dominating? Do we have the scheme of moderating the correct one?

Life Demand Changes..!!!!!!

23/09/2009
Its been two days I am struggling with these words. Do we change ourself by our own wish OR its the demand from life to change....??? Being honest I haven't seen anyone who hasn't changed himself or herself. We change ourself for us? For Others? For Someone Special? For whom???? I think yet to decide this... I believe if anyone means anyone looks back at his journey of the life he can better judge this. Changes.. they break us a part, they make us to cry, they leave us shattered then why do we love CHANGES? Hope I will be able to figure out the answer soon...